Dr James, 1m 15s:

Welcome back team to the Dentists Who Invest Podcast. Another exciting episode with Returning Face Tom Fortes-Mayer. Tom is an interesting chat because he's not a dentist, which automatically qualifies him as interest in the Dentists Who Invest podcast, because that's all that's all who we talked to in the Dentists Who Invest Podcast most of the time, Tom. But also as well as that Tom has a lot of strings to his bow. And one of those was that he used to be a therapist that helped people bust through mental problems whenever it came to wealth amongst the whole hog hog. What's that word? Smoggers board. Smogus board. I went real fancy just then. Smogus board, if I got that right. Smogus board. Yeah. Is that what it is? There we go. Wonderful. Anyway, returning fist to dentist to invest podcast. We're gonna talk today by living in alignment with wealth. As in, if you make a million pounds, you better start acting like a millionaire real fast, or you're gonna spend your way back to where you were before. We're gonna cover all of that and those more juicy stuff in just a minute. But as ever, you can claim your CPD for this episode within the official Dentists Who Invest Smart Money Members Club. Smart Money Members Club also includes multiple mini courses and webinar series on finance for dentists, including how to become as tax efficient as possible, as well as understanding investing. All of this content counts as verifiable CPD, and you can download your certificates there and then upon completion of each lesson. In addition to this, we also include a whopping 10% discount on your dental indemnity and a 5% discount on lab bills for dental principals, amongst other perks and discounts for members. Please use the link in the description to claim your verifiable CPD for this episode. How about we talk about who you are a little bit, first of all, Tom, for the returning for the for the for the people who've watched the podcast and maybe haven't seen the uh previous episodes.

Tom, 3m 3s:

Thank you. Yeah, so I'm Thomas Forters Mare. Uh I um help impact entrepreneurs and um a lot of dentists as well. Uh, you know, look at their beliefs, look at their life, and try and help them get in alignment with loving their success. You know, a lot of people believe, you know, I'll be successful, then I'll be happy. I'm like, no, no, no, no. Let's get you happy, and then success is way more likely to follow. And much more importantly, you are going to enjoy your success. So, you know, that is um that is that involves an awful lot. That involves looking at a whole bunch of yes beliefs, uh attitudes, their their practices, how they're organizing things, how they're organizing themselves. But it's also about this subject here, is that how do we live in alignment? I know a lot of people, you know, they're trying to be wealthier, but then they're still thinking small and they're still scrimping and they're not investing themselves, they're not being generous, they're always looking for discounts, you know? It's like all very understandable, frugal stuff, but it's not how the uber wealthy often think. I don't mean people aren't careful when they're wealthier, often that they're still striving for a good deal and a good bargain, but it it is about an attitude whereby which we are walking around with the experience of being wealthy, not becoming wealthy. And and for some people listen to this, they will be, you know, by national standards already wealthy. But many of those people aren't interested in being wealthy compared to national standards, they're interested in being wealthy according to their standards. They're going to be in this group because they want to have more wealth, you know, more time, more freedom, all those great things that wealth and abundance brings to us. For most people, they futurize their end goal. So they are working towards or strategizing towards having all these things in place so then they can get to have the life later. But that actually just continues pushing it further and further and further away. How do you live today in alignment energetically with the life that you want to have later? So, what I say to clients is like, if if you had everything, like what would your week be like? Like, what would your leisure time be like? What would you what would you be doing here and there in their life? Oh, it'd be like this. It's like, okay, well, how do we weave elements at least of that into your current life so that you're a vibrational match, you're in alignment with the life that you want. You know, it's like you have to evolve your way of being to be a match for what you're what you're trying to achieve. People think, oh, I'll feel that way when I've got the cash. It's like, no, no, you'll get the cash when you are that guy or girl today. And so, what do you need to do? And often it's we have to clear out negative emotions, we have to clear out fear, and but then it's also like, yeah, how would you be behaving? How would you what would your more morning routine be like? How philanthropic would you be? What percentage would you say support causes with? It's like people wait to to to to do those kind of things, but actually, even in microscopic form, having all of the elements that will be present in the life that you're trying to achieve now is a real key to making that life arrive faster because energetically it will already be here, you will already be that person. It's not about what you're doing, it's about who you're being, every day, being Trump's doing every day.

Dr James, 6m 30s:

Can I give what I think is a tangible example of that? Yeah, I've I'll run this by you because this is what was playing in my head when you were talking just then. Let's say you're in scarcity zone, whenever it comes to your mindset. Scarcity zone is oh my god, I've got to get some money or else I'm gonna perish, right? And whether you are gonna perish or not, that's secondary. It's the fact that your brain thinks that. So it projects in terms of your energy, right? So somebody's in that zone, they go into a circle or they go into a lovely club where there's lots of wealthy people, and they're like, oh my god, you know, how can I snatch the deal? How can I get this person to work with me or somehow get a percentage of what they're doing, right? And that those people, because we're our subconscious are so attuned to the energet energy of other people, right? They kind of detect that from you, and they're like, I don't know what's going on here, but I'm not such a fan of that guy or girl. And then they're repelled by you. So if ever there was a chance for you guys to do something together, a collab, you actually sabotage yourself because of the scarcity mindset. It's like the thing that you're trying to achieve the most because you want it so bad that seeps through your pores and that projects in your energy. Therefore, what it means is that people feel like you're out for yourself. Whereas if you came into that room and you're in exactly the same position as the previous person, you know, two people in exactly the same position, they've just changed their mindset, that's all. And you're like, hey, what's going on? Let's go outside, let's look at the sun, let's have a drink, something like that, right? Then all of a sudden they're like, hey, who's this cool guy or girl? All of a sudden you get chatting, and then who knows where the conversation is gonna go. There could be an opportunity there. Is that an example of what you mean? Because I've always observed that in other people. 100%, 100%.

Tom, 8m 11s:

It's a really good example. It's very, very practical. This isn't wishy-washy positive thinking, feel wealthy, and then you know, Ferrari is gonna manifest on your drive. It's like, no, when you get into an expanded state where your security and contentment isn't based on what's in your bank account, so you're not stressed about whether it's there or whether it isn't, and you feel safe in yourself. You know, it's like when you get caught in the rain, James, right? If you get caught in the rain and it's a proper downpour, there's a while there, once you scrunch up your shoulders and you bitch about it and you hate it, right? But then if you're lucky enough, you'll get soaked through, right? And that there's that first drop of water that goes down your spine. I don't know if you've ever been caught in a proper downpour, right? But it's like once that first bit of water goes down the inside of your clothes, down your spine, and you know you're going to be soaked, you then at that point remember that underneath your clothes, you're actually waterproof. Nothing can touch you, right? When you get to that place, right? So we have our projects, we have our dreams, we can strive for them, we can enjoy the cut and thrust of business, but we don't require them in the same way. Yeah. It's like imagine the fun of doing business when you've already got a billion in assets, right? And you just, you know, your children's, children's children are never gonna need to worry about money, ever. And you're just playing with the variables, you're just playing with these other projects. You have your you know, 100 billion that you're possibly investing in things and toying with, and some will win, some they won't. That energy is exactly the energy where people are like, what's that guy doing? What's that girl doing? I want to know, I want to feel that stability. And it's not because they've got that billion in the bank. That helps, but it's like, can we hold that energy where we are secure in ourselves, where we're not the desperate salesman, we're looking for the deal because we're worried about paying our mortgage. Or you're absolutely right. It's a perfect example. It's like, how can we hold that steady ground? People like to build on steady ground, but it's also it's like I love helping people get into that expanded state of the possible, and then then talking strategy. You know, so when I work with people, in the morning we'll kind of clear out negative thoughts, we'll clear out any kind of anything's clogging their system, any resentment or aggression or upset or anything from their past or even their childhood, and then get them in a really expanded state, talk to them about the vision of their ideal life, get them excited about that, getting them tasting it, feeling it, and then from there we brainstorm all the things they could be doing. And if we'd done that at the start of the day, there would be nowhere near as many ideas. So, yes, it's about how do you appear to other people, it's also how do you appear to yourself. You access seventh, eighth, nine gears of creativity. It's like it and and in that place, it's not just that we go to meetings and people like us more and want to invest in us more or want to, you know, or trust us to fix their teeth more, right? It's it's it it's it's like the phone rings more. You know, we there's the there's the magnetism to it where where it it is extraordinary, things falling into place. You know, this week I was like, I need a really amazing illustrationist, you know, and I want to create some really interesting, really interesting videos about psychology, and I want them to be kind of animated and illustrated and and to show the inner world. And I I literally I'm 50. I have never woken up in the morning and thought to myself, oh, I need a I need an illustrationist. And yet the day that I had that thought, someone on a phone call talked about this amazing illustrationist that they know, you know.

Dr James, 11m 44s:

What's that book by Maxwell uh maltz, I think his name is, and the book's called psychocybernetics, your mind's like a heat-seeking missile. That quote always sticks out at me, man. Your subconscious mind is like a heat-seeking missile, it'll find the thing it's looking for.

Tom, 11m 59s:

And and you know, and you could get into some crazy metaphysics, you could get into some crazy quantum entanglement theory. For me, all I know is that like attracts like, and that, and that there's an expansive creativity state that we get into, a high vibrational state that we can get into when we just basically feel good about ourselves, and you know, and it's like it's like the abundance is an internal state, it's beyond beliefs, it's about our intrinsic sense of value, and yet so that's not just about walking into the room and feeling like a million dollars, right? It's like how do we walk into a room and feel like a million dollars? Yes, we should clear out our trauma. That's a give up, but also how do we operate? How do we operate in life in such a way that we're proud of who we are, whether we've made money or not? It's like how do we teach our children about charity? What random acts of kindness do we do? How do we deal with integrity where we we do the right thing even when no one's looking? It's like how do we walk around feeling honorable in our integrity? It's like this also creates a vibration of wealth. I remember when I was younger, I had a particularly wealthy friend, and he was very high and mighty about paying your way and doing the right thing. And, you know, if you scratch someone's car, leave a note for them. And I agreed with all of that. But at the time when I was 20 and I could barely pay my rent, I struggled to always make the high integrity choice because I just couldn't afford to, you know, that's how it felt. And in many ways, practically it was true. And so there's an amazing thing about having wealth is you have the kind of resources to really operate at the highest level of integrity. Paying well for good people, in you know, enjoying supporting the arts, enjoying supporting charities, you know, being someone who's walking around, who's who's who's making the world better with your resources. This is the most beautiful thing about wealth is that you can find good people who are pouring their heart into their projects, you know, even if it's just the guy who bakes bread around the corner and it's his big passion, you buy his bread, and it's more expensive than the crap you can buy at the supermarket, but because you want to support this patron, you want to you want to be a patron to the arts and the business. It's like this is how like ethical, honorable, wealthy people think about money. It's they get to be a blessing in people's lives with that energy. And so it's like, how do we walk around with that vibe now? How do we get excited about the foundations we're gonna create that will do good and great things? It's like, I don't know, it's very rare that people make billions and then don't do some good with it. It's very rare, it does happen, but it's very rare because once people have got more than enough, it's just natural to think, okay, what could I do to help? So let's be that guy today. Let's, you know, even in some small ways, you're laying down that foundation energetically of the person you're naturally going to become. Be them now, be them today. Don't wait.

Dr James, 14m 52s:

I'm a huge believer in this stuff because the day I always how can I how can I say I kind of knew these things in a subconscious level, but when I started to hear them from others, then what it meant was it gave me validation that they were actually a path to achievement in life rather than just thoughts that had drifted into my mind one day and seemed to be rational to me. So I really like that. I really like that. And you know, I really didn't fathom how much it could help me until I started to invest in it on a conscious level, and that's exactly what we're here to do today on the Dennis to Invest Podcast. And certainly, if anybody's listening and this is new to you, I really, really, really want you to internalize it and try to implement it into your life because the world receives the energy that you project out to the world, receives that and the world reflects it back onto you as well. If you act from a place of abundance, you're more likely to receive abundance. But again, it all comes back to our beliefs, doesn't it, Tom? Because if we act from a place of scarcity, we're less likely to receive more in return. Therefore, the world reaffirms that subconscious belief that we have that money is scarce and all these things are scarce. So it's a self-perpetuating thing, which leads us to reinforce it and continue and continue. UK Dennis, Dennis Who Invest now has an official platform where you can learn about finance and obtain UK compliant, verifiable CVD at the same time. The only platform that exists on which you can do both. The Smart Money Members Club has hundreds of hours of mini courses, webinar series, and live day recordings on all things finance slash tax efficiency for UK dentists. This includes complete courses on how tax works for UK dentists, finance so that you can invest and grow your own money, business so you can improve your profitability as an associate or principal, and for those out there that want it, there's also a mini course and how you can responsibly enter the crypto space using measured amounts of capital. I've gathered this content from the best of the best I could find in each respective area so that you know that this is how people at the forefront of each field advise their clients. The Smart Money Members Club also contains discounts on common things that UK dentists need to pay for on a regular basis. This includes a whopping 10% discount on dental indemnity, the offer to beat your income protection deal no matter what you're paying, and for the principals out there, 5% discount on lab bills and 10% discount on practice insurance. These are designed to offer hundreds, if not thousands, in annual savings. The purpose of this members club is to not only boost your monthly income but also manage your outgoings as much as possible and therefore create more profit. To celebrate the launch of the Smart Money Members Club, and given that the CPD deadline is coming up soon, I've decided to offer the first month of this platform entirely for free. This offer will end in the coming weeks as soon as the current CPD cycle is up. To collect your CPD for this podcast episode using the Smart Money Members Club, feel free to use the link in the description of this podcast.

Tom, 17m 59s:

100%. I mean the word abundance comes from the Latin abundare, and it literally means to flow and circulate. And so if we're coming from scarcity, we we we grip that which we that which we want to hold on to, and with that we just cut the current. We cut the current, you know, it's like giving, receiving, you know, spending, you know, it's like I don't mean just you know overspending, but moving the currency. Even the words we use around money all have a fluidity, cash flow, yeah, fluidity, currency, you know, it's the current of a river. You know, it's like it's all about um yeah, fluidity. In order to be abundant, we have to be comfortable to let it go. We have to trust that it's there. And so many people when you look at sports psychology, one of the keys that you have to do to help someone kick a ball better or swing a golf cup ladder is to is to reduce the tension, right? Reduce the attachment. So the optimal performance is, you know, is is when you know, is the hundred percent mark of just that perfect flow state. But when people really want the result, they start pushing themselves to 110, 120 in terms of the intensity they bring to it, and it throws out the game, you know. They say that a definition of an amateur is someone who practices until they can do it, do a thing. But the definition of a professional is they practice until they can't not do it. And ideally, the ones who are world leading, they can't not do it under a highly pressurized situation, you know, and it's like, ah, how do we how do we and the key is is attachment. If we need it too much, we just tip over into that slightly greasy, slightly unstable thing, and people just want to lean back from that. If we trust that we're okay and that there's plenty, and that there's always gonna be plenty, of course we don't mind sharing and being more generous because we have plenty, you know. In in India, there's a phrase that's like a a fear of thirst when our well is full, is a thirst that's unquenchable. You know, and and we want to operate in our life where we're like, I've got plenty of water, I can share it around, I can I can spend my water beautifully. I'm on a rich aquifer of which there is no limit. And our energy there is like, oh, you know, these are the people you want to partner with. These are the people that feel good, they feel stable. You want to learn what they know. How come they're smiling? You know, everyone else is panicking about recession or drop in prices here or there. It's like most people don't mind about fluctuation because they've got a war test, they're secure, everything's good, they don't need to make money for 10 years, they can weather any temporary variations in some stock, you know. They're just they're you know, they're they're solid and you can base that solidity on what's in your bank account. That's the common one. But there's a richer place in which you can base that solidity, you know, and that waterproof place in the rain, it's like in my essence, I'm okay. No matter what happens, I'm like, I'm gonna be okay. None of this, I can enjoy wealth, I don't need it in the same way, and that frees us up to be way more fluid. That's the attitude of a billionaire, because a billionaire is playing with form, but there's there's none of it speaks to their security, they had enough security.

Dr James, 21m 27s:

I like that a lot, and you know what? I I really feel like a good example of that is social media in and of itself. And here's why you give the content, content is like giving somebody a gift because what is money? Money is just quantified value, that's all it is, doesn't have any special properties, it's just quantified value, right? It's just a means of ensuring that there's some way of documenting that effectively because we can give something a value in terms of its monetary worth. But here's the thing, right? If you make content, that's actually giving somebody value. But this is actually how businesses that are set situated around social media work, right? You'll give that uh piece of content, thousands of people will listen to it, maybe like two or three in there will be like, oh, that really vibed with me, or oh, I'd like to learn more about that company and how it works, right? So you're giving the content fully knowing, right, that not everybody is gonna give something back to you, which is the scarcity mindset, it's very transactional. It's like I give you this, you give me something back, yeah. But you leverage the fact that there's gonna be somebody in there somewhere who really likes it or really feels like you can help them. And then what that means is that you can potentially generate opportunities through that, potentially, you know, you know. So actually, social media is a good, and this is this is actually something that I learned uh or heard somebody say a while back, and I was like, oh, that actually makes total sense. And it all kind of comes from this abundance mindset and not expecting to make our first five pieces of content and be a millionaire. It's more like we keep going, then eventually, because we're acting abundantly and giving an abundance of value, it's just a math thing that's going to come back to us.

Tom, 23m 0s:

I agreed. I mean, listen, though, we did a we did a short podcast, I don't know, a couple of months ago. One of your one of your dentists watched that and they signed up with me as a coach. It's like that that was a very lucrative half hour conversation. Truth is, I didn't come on the podcast expecting. To get clients at all. I like talking to you. I think we have good conversations. And it's fun for me. And I know, of course, that might catch for someone, you know, and then and it might, and if it doesn't, and someone's watching this and they never transact with me, I'm happy to help them live a more abundant life. You still get those kind of energetic lessons. You know, it's like I I I used to do um pro bono work in my practice, it's something I stopped about a year ago, but for 25 years, I would always do at least one or two hours of pro bono work. And the last client I worked with him for over a year, and and he was like, you know, I feel bad, you know, I haven't paid you for this work. I was like, I've been paid for this work. I've been paid for this work. You haven't paid me for it. But this is who I am. I get paid, right? The universe pays, right? And included in these fees that are the money that I make is the good that I do in the world and the good that I feel. I feel good supporting you, and I'm happy to help you, and you're a good guy, and you don't have any money and you need help. You know, deeply traumatized as a kid, and I'm happy to give you a hand up, you know. And it's like it's paid. I get paid, I get paid by the good that I do in the world. Some of it's linear and directly transactional, but I love the new world we live in. I get to show up, I get to be myself. Some people were like, I resonate with that. I'm gonna invest in that, I'm gonna support that. I want some of that in my life. It's like great. I don't need to worry about where that comes from. You know, I just need to concentrate on being in deep alignment and trusting that there's intrinsic value in who I am. And even though I enjoy living in a nice house and having a nice car, I don't need those things in the same way that I did when I was 20 to feel okay about myself. It's like, oh, I'm I'm gonna be all right anyway. That makes it easier. It makes it easier for me to tell the truth, makes it easier for me to be authentic. It's like I don't need to come on here and pretend to be all shiny like I've got all the answers. I don't. It's like I've worked out lots of psychology and lots of areas, and some of it's great, some of it's still a challenge. It's not easy being human. I want to work with people who are real, and I can come on here and I don't need to pretend to have all the answers. It's like, oh, I'm I'm finding my way and I'm learning all the time, and some things work, and sometimes I have really bad days, and sometimes I'm not the parent I would like to be. That's the thing I find hardest. I I understand psychology and I'm doing my best to raise my kids consciously, and I watch myself making terrible mistakes. They still push your buttons right from time to time. They don't push them, they trample on your dreams and like tread on your throat and and constantly aggress your boundaries. I mean, it's hard, it's really hard to be a semi-decent parent, it's really hard to be a good parent. And I watch myself falling short of the standard I set for myself, and it's you know, it's challenging. Like life isn't easy, um, but this it's not meant to be, you know, it's like how can we have family and how can we have things we care about, and how can we have the philanthropic work we're trying to support? It's like, how do we manage all of that and still keep our heart open and still believing in in our worth, you know? And it's like I think it's the attitude with which we approach that, you know, we don't need it to be easy, we allow it to be complex, and we we try and be ennobled by that, you know. Then then it gets exciting. Then even the challenges are exciting, they're opportunities for growth, and and and for me, not growth in growing my bottom line, although that's interesting, but I'm growing my character. That's where my value is. I'm a I'm a valuable character. I want to be that type of person where if there's a project that's happening and something needs to be done, and someone says, No, no, don't worry, Tom's taking care of that. Everyone there goes, Cool, it's as good as done. I want to be that character because if I then say I'm I'm building this project and we need to invest, or we're building this you know charitable mission and we need you to donate, people will trust I'll get it done. So I'm I'm my job is to develop the character and the value follows that. And so part of that is okay, what is the characteristics of someone who's phenomenally wealthy, right? How do I you know wake up trying to you know live from that resource state, you know?

Dr James, 27m 31s:

Interested to know, just to build on what you've just said, is you know the thing about dentists, they they love action plans, they love they're very technical whenever it comes to how they think and they love protocols and what have you. So in your days as a therapist, when you met somebody and you could see that part of part of the remedy to help them achieve what they want to achieve, because it obviously only makes sense relative to their goals. And let's say their goal was financial wealth, or their goal was to operate out of a place of abundance, and from what you could see in your diagnosis, so to speak, part of what was sabotaging them was their scarcity mindset. How would you get them to vibrate on the abundance mindset level versus uh a scarcity mindset level? How would you elevate them out of that zone? What practical things can they do? How do they actually sorry, Tom? Can I ask if you ask a better question than that just before you before you go any further? How can how could they recognize they were in that zone, first of all? And then let's talk about what they could do to help you could do to help.

Tom, 28m 33s:

Okay. Well, I think recognizing you're in a scarcity mindset is fairly easy because you feel stressed. And you you either are you either don't have enough money, right? So you or you have enough money and you still feel stressed. And that's that's the saddest. You know, it's really common, but that's the I don't mean saddest in a sad person. I mean that's just that's the most the most unfortunate. It's like when you've got plenty and you still don't feel like you've got enough, right? That's a really obvious indicator of um of having a scarcity mindset. Uh so how do you resolve that? There's there's really three parts to the work that I do with people and certainly did as a therapist. It's like you have to improve people's inner peace. So they have to be a peace no matter what. So that enables you to be unattached and to have love for yourself and for life, whether you've got the money you haven't. That really helps. That puts you in that place where people want to invest, they'll trust you to do their dental work. You know, people will be much calmer around you, you'll be a trustworthy person, people will like you, they'll feel peaceful around you. That is a key, right? You're basically regulating your nervous system so that your animal body feels like you're safe. And so, how to do that? It's systematic clearing out any fear, resentment, aggression, trauma in your system. That's the most practical way that you can feel abundant, is because actually all of the unresolved tension on a system keeps us in fear, and it's fear that closes down that expansive state. In terms of practical external stuff that you can do, a really brilliant kind of thing that you can get very practical about is creating a systematic, like a step-by-step process of confronting fears, just expanding yourself out of your comfort zone. So bungee jump, um, public speaking, Facebook lives, you know, it can be related to your business. It's like, can you put down a list of 10 things that you could do in a year, starting small and moving to something big, things that terrify you. Actively making a habit out of stretching yourself out of your comfort zone, it's transformational. If you only did that every year, your life would be unrecognizable within five, 10 years. Or sooner, man. I think sooner, bro. You know, oh sooner. Oh, yeah. I mean, I mean I mean like unrecognizable, right? It's it's like it's one of the simplest things we can do, which is why so many personal development courses involve walking across hot coals or breaking boards or snapping arrows in your neck. They're there to get you to think, you know, like what's holding you back? Because overcoming fear stretches your comfort zone, but what it does is it expands your sense of what's possible. So for me, my journey of that was recognizing had all sorts of limiting beliefs about musicality and then push myself to learn and learn a number of different instruments. Then it was pushing myself to actually perform those in front of other people, which I found even more terrifying. So my adrenaline would be going, and it's like I could play guitar and piano okay now, but it's like if I did it in front of people, I couldn't play for shit, right? It's like because the adrenaline was bumping. I'm like, my animal was like, I'm gonna embarrass myself and get eaten. It's like this is not a life or death situation, you know. So you want to keep stretching your animal into things that scare it so that you can help grounding it into feeling more safe doing scarier things. This makes a huge difference. Then if you find yourself in a slightly sticky cash flow moment, you're used to just coping with tension. And you won't get pulled into that contracted place where you get pulled into scarcity.

Dr James, 32m 11s:

You know what? I'm a big believer in staffing outside your comfort zone, but I had in no way ever linked those moments that grow you or expand you in that state or into that, you know, further and further down that road. Uh, I in no way linked those to breaking the scarcity mindset thing that we talked about earlier. But I guess when I look back, you know, before I went through a lot of that stuff, I did definitely not operate as much out of a place of abundance upon reflection. I did I didn't actually realize those two things were linked.

Tom, 32m 44s:

Yeah, totally. But it's also it's like a lot of people do these exercises, but then don't harvest the breakthrough. So it's like if you walk across hot coals, then get your journal out immediately afterwards and think differently about all the amazing things you could do in your business. And what you'll see is you get better ideas and you're willing, you know, half the time with my clients, I just get them to pick up the phone. And this is not to do sales, that's important. No, this is to reach call that person that they'd love to collaborate with. They're like, why would that guy take my call? You know, it's just like just call them. You just, you know, you might need to, you know, you might, you might need to call five people before one calls you back or whatever, but it's just like who'd be a dream person for you to collaborate with? Just just speak to their people, just just get on it. It's like they're all there, they're all available. You can search for people's contact details, management details, create a collaboration with a celebrity. Matthew McConaughey did a live YouTube broadcast, brought on some great personal development speakers. They got 2.4 million people on that broadcast. They were selling a $400 product at the end. If they had a 5% uptake, that's $69 million. It's like there are celebrities out there that would like opportunities to make more than all the movies they made in the last three years from one four-hour YouTube broadcast, right? It's like just they're looking for ways to monetize their platform. Call them, offer them something. You know, it's just like it's like people are like, I mean, this morning I did a talk and I said, you know, in a minute, I've got all of the delegates' names, and I'm gonna press this button, and my lap, my my computer's gonna randomly select one of your names, and it's gonna come on the big screen behind me, and you're gonna come to the front and do a little dance and you're gonna sing a karaoke song. Now, of course, there was no such gadget in my machinery, but it was just to get the audience to recognise how terrified they can be in those moments, right? I then also got them to unlock their phones and give their phone to the person sat next door to them. Just to get them to realise, you know, we operate with so much fear, and it holds us back in so many ways. We don't even notice because we have politeness. I hate politeness. Politeness is enables us to be terrified and not notice. So I'm terrified, you're terrified, let's be polite. Now, I like manners. I like manners. That's just being a decent human. Politeness I hate because that means I don't know who you are, what you really want, and you're too afraid to tell me who I am and what I want. And you know, it just the whole thing just becomes really difficult to know who you are and know what you want, and to go where you want, to know if anyone's really doing anything because they want to. It's like politeness is bullshit. Manners are great, but it's like most people have got no idea how much fear is holding the mat that would prevent them from making that phone call or speaking to that celebrity or or or reaching out to some influencer and coming up with a cool collaboration. It's like there are so many ways to get involved and do exciting things. So go do a firewall, do a bungee jump, or go to a supermarket and fill your trolley full of food and then don't have enough money to cover it. And go to one of those busy lines and just see everyone feeling sorry for you. For some people, that would be more unbearable than a bungee jump. Stretch your ego, stretch your fears, get beyond the need for people to like you, get comfortable being who you are, push yourself, and then when you expand that comfort zone, then get your journal out and think creatively, expansively about what's possible. Well, that's that's what the incredibly wealthy people do. They feel incredibly um expanded in the sense of the possible, that's what their wealth gives them. But but they're just putting together collaborations. In fact, what most of the world, like when Elon Musk bought Twitter, he didn't use his money, he just used his his his his his you know his reputation. You're gonna finance that, you know? It's easy. And just bringing together great people, you can put together, I mean, this is like management buyouts. I worked with a guy when I went to Date with Destiny, Anthony Robbins kind of big piece course in 2004. I was skinned, I spent most of my money getting, you know, spending $10,000 to go to the Bahamas, right? But I made more money the next year than ever before. But I was in the room with a guy who'd learnt management buyouts. He was a 22-year-old guy, and he'd spent like like since he'd heard about it, since from 15 to 22, studying everything he could about management buyouts. And then spent two years researching, looking for companies, and he just put together a deal where he found people working for a company, the owner wanted to sell. He'd bring in all the money people, and he'd just done his first deal, and he he came out of it with the with like eight million worth of shares in this deal and a 250 grand salary to be a management consultant within the business. I'm like damn, you know, he was a complete unknown, but he saw this deal, he put it together. Amazing. He just made sure he was in and everyone was happy with the deal, and he was just sitting pretty, you know? It's like there are so many opportunities, so many ways of putting deals together. Did you uh did you watch the secret the undercover billionaire with Grant Cardone? Yeah, I did actually. How did you know that? Did we talk about that before? We haven't, but it for me that's a great example, you know. For your viewers, you know, if you don't know, they took billionaires and they dropped them in a town where they were unknown, and they gave them $100 and an old truck, and they had to see if they could make money, and they had 90 days to make a million, make a business worth more than a million dollars. And it's fascinating. Series two is the one with Grant Cardone in it, it's absolutely brilliant. You see him putting deals together, bringing good people together. It's like anyone and everyone can do that. He did it without his reputation and he did it without money. But what he had was expansive belief in the possible, and any of us can tap into that.

Dr James, 38m 56s:

You know what? Listen, you're spot on because I actually watched that. I actually have watched that as I was saying a second ago. And uh yeah, Grand Cardone, there's one episode, they drop him in like the Midwest in America, in this little one horse town, basically, like in the middle of nowhere. And within a few hours, he's writing copyright copy for a sofa company for and they've just paid him $20,000. And you're just like, What the hell? Right, you know, and I get that he's got the skills, he can do that, but he's also got the mindset. And I was just like, Wow, there's I'm I watched that, I remember watching that age ago, and I was like, wow. Get that gig.

Tom, 39m 34s:

He said, Let me just work for free for a day and I'll bring people in. And he was on the street, dragging people off the street to come and do a sale thing, and he put the thing in, you know, he he had to earn that right, you know, and he and and he wasn't he wasn't a particularly more I reckon you could do the sales level he was doing on that street, but he was just determined not to fail. His reputation was on the line, and his enthusiasm and energy he brought to it. It was like, you know, and he and he didn't want to sleep in a truck, right?

Dr James, 40m 6s:

He wanted sell your horse, buy a truck, drive hide somewhere. You can never escape.

Tom, 40m 15s:

Not only did he, you know, get that fat contract and then bring in more, and you know, but he he'd like he managed to convince a guy that was selling a he didn't want to drive around in the crappy van, and he saw someone selling a 45 grand like like truck, and he convinced him that he's more likely to sell it if he drove it round town. And so within a day, he was driving round in a 45 grand car because he was missing his Bentley. You know, it was like it was quite incredible to watch, right? And of course, you know, that mindset is available to all of us, you know. And he's like he's just he was just thinking like a wealthy person, you know, he had a billionaire mindset and he had a hundred dollars in his pocket, no reputation, no contacts.

Dr James, 40m 56s:

He's he summed it, and it does that series. Not everybody likes Grant Grant Cardone, everybody's a fan of him, and that's fine.

Tom, 41m 3s:

But you've got to I'm not a fan of Grant Cardone, I don't like him personally at all, but you've got to you've got to admire what he did there was impressive.

Dr James, 41m 12s:

It shows you what's possible, right? Like it shows you what's possible, and then we we build all this framework of beliefs around ourselves about what we can and can't do. Yet that doesn't actually marry up with what you see on this show. And I don't listen, I don't know how you can be a cynic about it, you can say ah it's ditched and blah blah blah and all this stuff. I don't think it is, man. I think it is possible to do that. You just gotta know how and you've got to see things the right way. And it starts with what holds a lot of people back from doing that stuff, fear, right? Fear 100%. Well, what actually is the downside of doing it? You're either gonna get a no or you're gonna get the coolest, one of the coolest yeses you've ever had. Food for thought. Anyway, Tom, I'm super duper duper conscious of time. It's been an enlightening podcast, as always. If anybody would like to reach out to you off the back of what we said today, how are they best off finding you?

Tom, 42m 0s:

Yeah, just tomfortisme.com. And what you'll find there on my website is a kind of questionnaire that you can do an assessment to look at your success psychology, see if you've got any limiting beliefs holding you back. It's a really useful assessment, and it that then connects you to some free resources.